


Snowed In

by TheoKingKitty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bathing/Washing, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Couch Cuddles, Demisexual Sherlock, Dreams, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hugs, John Whump, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Nightmares, No Mary, OOC Sherlock, Past Torture, Purging, Scars, Sherlock Whump, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Dancing, Smut, Snowed In, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheoKingKitty/pseuds/TheoKingKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Since we met. Just a few weeks after… You starting living with me. I started feeling odd… Then I had to leave and I stayed in love with you all those 2 years…” Sherlock told him. “I’m never been in love before, John… I didn’t know what to do.” </p><p>“Everything's okay now. Everything is perfect,” John kissed Sherlock again.</p><p> </p><p>A blizard temporarily traps Sherlock and John for a day. Stuff goes down such as confessions and what not...Their lives as just flatmates change in just hours. Please read if you're into "Friends to Lovers" fanfics. Sorry for the rubbish summary. The story will make up for it :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowed In

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... This is my first Sherlock fanfic and it's also my first smut fanfic. Being quite asexual has made me ignorant to smut so if this sounds like it was written by a 11 year old then you know why... 
> 
> My friend was so nice to have read my fanfic over for any mistakes. She did a brilliant job!! Thank you for taking the time to read my mess of a fanfic :D
> 
> (UPDATE) This fanic is quite rubbish. I'd rather not read it if I were you. Honestly.

8:24

Sherlock and John weren’t expecting a blizzard around the month of May. They also weren’t expecting it to change their lives forever.

John was heading out to the office when he opened the front door of his and Sherlock’s shared flat and discovered that neither him or his flatmate were going to leave to the outside world. It was pouring down snow and which was covering the streets. The snow was up to his waist. He closed the door quickly before any snow get into their flat and walked back upstairs.

Sherlock heard the door close with a slam and began to wake up out of his dream filled sleep. Still in his night wear Sherlock walked into the kitchen to make himself a cuppa. John walked into the kitchen and Sherlock greeted him with a half smile before remembering how odd it was to smile at his flatmate. They weren’t together as much as Sherlock wanted it to be that way…

“Aren’t you suppose to be at your...thing..?” Sherlock sleepily asked his friend.

“No, the snow outside is up to my waist,” John answered while helping Sherlock with his tea. Sherlock couldn’t understand why John and him weren’t together. They were practically a married couple.

“No one will be going to the office today,” John finished.

“Oh.” Sherlock said putting the kettle on. “That’s good then? You get a day off.” Sherlock tried not to smile thinking John and him were alone together for a day while being in their comfortable flat.

“I guess,” John smiled a bit at Sherlock. The look told him that they could work on a small case in the flat together or just relax till they did so.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

9:12

Sherlock and John watched the telly peacefully while drinking their tea. John was eating the breakfast that he had skipped earlier that morning when he was late to work but because he wasn’t going to work he ate the breakfast at this time. Sherlock was skipping the first meal of the day, again.

“You should eat, Sherlock,” John told him.

“I’m fine for awhile longer,” Sherlock told John not looking at him. John got up and carried his and Sherlock’s mug into the kitchen along with the plate he used. John put a piece of bread in the toaster and got the jam back out while he waited for it to toast.

Sherlock watched John from his spot in the living room. He scrunched his eyebrows together. He didn’t really feel like eating today. He wanted to put it off for another day or two. Food always got in the way. Today was suppose to be his and John’s day. Not his stomach’s day. He always felt weird after eating. He felt guilty and heavy and he definitely did not want to eat in front of John.

Sherlock jumped slightly when the bread in the toaster signaled John that it was toasted fully. John took the cooked bread out of the toaster and began smearing jam on the piece.

“John you don’t need to do that-”

“I don’t mind, Sherlock. Just think as me as your girlfriend ‘feeding you up’,” John quoted from Sherlock and his first dinner together. Sherlock’s heart skipped a beat. He felt odd. He wanted John to be his and the thought of him not eating the food John made for him made him feel awful. He wanted to try and eat at least.

John placed the plate on the coffee table in front of Sherlock and walked back to his spot next to Sherlock on the couch. Sherlock stared at the plate. He really didn’t want to eat. He felt an overwhelming fear of the thought of food going down his throat and sitting in his stomach. He just couldn’t do it.

“Sherlock?” John snapped him back into reality. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Sherlock swallowed. He then picked up the plate and set it on his lap. Taking the piece of toast in his hand he raised the food up to his mouth and took a small bite. Chills went down his spine as the food went down his throat.

Sherlock put the toast back down on the plate and put the plate back on the table. He had taken a bite at least.

“Sherlock?” John put his hand lightly on Sherlock’s shoulder. Sherlock never told John about his problems with food. He didn’t want to start now. Not today. Today was suppose to be a good day.

“Yes?” Sherlock asked quietly looking at John.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, John. I’m fine,” Sherlock moved away from John slightly. John removed his hand but kept a close eye on Sherlock.

Sherlock began to feel heavy despite the lack of food his stomach contained. He stood up off the couch and began to walk towards the bathroom.

“Sherlock?”

“I’m just going to go and take a shower, John.” Sherlock said nervously. “I’ll be out soon.” John watched as Sherlock made his way to the bathroom quickly.

Sherlock turned on the shower and got in as soon as the water was hot. He stood in the shower for a few minutes before picking up his shampoo to wash his hair. He felt so heavy. He needed to feel lighter. He thought about...but then he pushed that out of his brain. He couldn’t...get rid of the food...He wouldn’t do that to John. What would John say if he found out how back Sherlock’s eating problem really was. But he could stay like this. He couldn’t feel heavy all day.

John wouldn’t hear… If Sherlock kept the shower on, John wouldn’t hear him getting rid of the food in his stomach.

Sherlock quietly walked out of the shower and kneed in front of the toilet. Taking his toothbrush he carefully lined it in his mouth to start the gag reflex. It worked and the small portion of food left his body and fell into the toilet. He flushed the toilet then quickly got back into the shower. He felt lighter and normal again. Sherlock let out a short sign then finished his shower.

0-0-0-0-0

         

9:56

Sherlock walked out of the bathroom and into his room on shaky legs. He felt light...very light...a bit too light...but he ignored that feeling and sat on his bed to get his energy again.

After a few minutes he still felt shaky. He laid down on his bed and curled up into a ball.

_I’ll just lie here for a few minutes then I’ll have the energy to spend time with my John._ Sherlock thought before passing out completely.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

10:57

John didn’t understand why Sherlock was taking so long to get out of the bathroom after showering. He began to get worried. He got up from the couch and walked towards the bathroom.

“Sherlock?” John knocked on the door. “You okay? Sherlock?” John twisted the doorknob and open the bathroom door. He didn’t see Sherlock anywhere in the bathroom so he left to check his bedroom.

Sherlock was curled up in a ball on his bed. John wasn’t sure if he was conscious.   

“Sherlock?” John said loudly but it didn’t wake his sleeping flatmate. John rushed to Sherlock’s side and shook him slightly.

“Jesus, Sherlock,” John cursed. “What have you done to yourself this time?”

Sherlock began to wake slowly. John sighed with relief.

“John?” Sherlock groaned. John helped him sit up and position his head in between his legs.“John?”

“Keep your head down, Sherlock. We don’t want you passing out again. When was the last time you ate besides this morning?”

“....Three days ago..”

“Jesus, Sherlock. This isn’t very good,” John told his friend. “I’m very disappointed with you.”

“...I-I know…” Sherlock said shakily and felt a rock form in his throat. He upset his John. He felt worse than he did when he ate. He tightened his closed eyes to keep the tears from falling. He didn’t understand these emotions but he knew that they were because of his feelings for John.

“I’ll be right back,” John left Sherlock, alone, in his darkish room. The very little light from outside leaked into his room. Sherlock felt so cold without John by his side. He lifted his head and pulled a blanket towards himself and put it around him. He still felt cold despite this…

John came back with a cup of hot tea and handed it to Sherlock. Sherlock took the tea.

_Three Sugars_ Sherlock thought. John was trying to increase his blood pressure.

“Sherlock?” Sherlock looked up at John. “I’m going to help you to the kitchen then you are going to have a real meal to get your energy up again, okay?”

Sherlock face flashed with fear and it took John by surprise. He was expecting anger. Sherlock even nodded with approval.

“Thank you.” John said and wrapped his arm under Sherlock’s armpits and helped him to the kitchen.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 

11:27

****

Sherlock stared at the plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. Next to it was another cup of tea and a plate of toast with jam.

****

John sat down across from Sherlock with another cup of tea himself.

****

“It’s really delicious, Sherlock,” John told him. “Please, Sherlock. For me?”

****

Sherlock picked up his fork and raised a small portion of eggs to his mouth. It fell down his throat and went into his stomach.

****

Heavy. Sherlock felt so heavy.

****

“How is it, Sherlock?” John asked too soon. Sherlock dropped his fork and covered his mouth with his hand.

****

_Nononono don’t cry. Don’t cry in front of John._

****

Sherlock couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his face. He’s never cried over food before. Why now?

****

John jumped out of his seat and rushed to Sherlock’s side.

****

“Hey, Sherlock. It’s okay,” John said trying to be comforting. He sat down in the seat next to Sherlock and put a hand on Sherlock’s shoulder. “It’s just some eggs, Sherlock. They won’t hurt you.”

****

Of course not. They won’t hurt Sherlock but they made him feel that awful heaviness. He let out a whimper.

****

“Talk to me, Sherlock. What’s going on?” John pleaded.

****

“I-I...” Sherlock’s face crumpled and he hid it in his hands.

****

“Shh...It’s okay, Sherlock,” John put his arm around Sherlock’s shaking shoulders and waited for him to calm down.

****

Once Sherlock got his mind in order, John asked him again.

****

“Sherlock? What’s making you anxious about food?” Sherlock lifted his head.

****

“...When I eat i-it…I-I can feel it...In my stomach..I-It makes me feel..h-heavy…,” another tear fell from his eye.

****

“Oh, Sherlock,” John wrapped Sherlock in a hug. Sherlock felt too upset to feel the warmth of love of the gesture. When John pulled away he placed his hand on Sherlock’s stomach. “You’re nothing close to being heavy. Everything is going to be okay, Sherlock. Will you eat some more? It’s okay if you can’t...I’m right here to help, okay?” Sherlock nodded and turned his attention to the plate in front of him. Sherlock raised another fork full of eggs to his mouth and swallowed them down without chewing.

****

Tears began to fill his eyes and again as he raised another fork full of eggs to his mouth again. He whipped away his tears before looking at John to give him a sad smile. John smiled back.

****

“Good job, Sherlock,” John said rubbing Sherlock’s belly. “I’m very proud of you.”

****

Sherlock continued to eat small portions of the eggs till the plate was empty.     

****

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

****

11:58

****

Sherlock watched from the living room as John washed his used plate and cup in the kitchen before joining Sherlock in the living room to watch crap telly. Sherlock was curled up in the corner of the couch closest to the window while John sat in the opposite corner.

****

Sherlock stared outside the window thinking about John and his relationship. John was always so kind to Sherlock even when Sherlock was so rude to him. Sherlock couldn’t help but think of how much he loved John. He wanted John to be the person he grew old with. He wanted John to be the one who he hugged when he got home...or kissed..He wanted John to be the one he…

****

Sherlock didn’t want to think about having sex with John. That would never happen. Sherlock never even touched _himself_ how would be able to touch John?

****

A soft snore generated from the other side of the couch. Sherlock turned his head to see that his friend had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and so...adorable. Sherlock smiled slightly and watched John’s chest rise and fall with his breathing.

****

Then Sherlock’s attention fell to John’s hand. It was resting on the couch. Sherlock thought that if he was quiet and gentle enough he could hold John’s hand. Just for a few minutes.

Slowly Sherlock lifted his arm out from under the blanket he was wrapped in and reached for John’s hand. Slowly, Sherlock lifted each finger off the couch till John’s hand was resting in Sherlock’s. Then Sherlock wrapped his fingers around John’s hand. Sherlock smiled again. This felt so...nice. He wish he could do this more often.

****

Sherlock stayed like this for a few more minutes till he felt John begin to move slightly. He removed his hand quickly and hid his arm under the blanket again. Looking up at John he saw that John hadn’t woken up but was actually reacting to the dream he was having. John’s eyebrows were scrunched together and body looked a bit tense. He muttered under his breath. Sherlock couldn’t tell what he was saying.

****

“John?” Sherlock tried to wake him. John continued to mutter words but they became louder and more distressed.

****

“Sherlock..” John mumbled. Sherlock was shocked. John was having a dream about him. A not so good dream.

****

“John?” Sherlock moved in his seat hoping to wake John by the movement.

****

“No..Sherlock..” John mumbled again. Sherlock moved some more. John still didn’t wake up. Sherlock moved closer to John a put his hand on his arm. This made John jump and it woke him up. Sherlock pulled his hand away while John scanned the room. He looked at Sherlock with a confused face.

****

“John, I think you were dreaming.” Sherlock said. John nodded.

****

“Sherlock..”

****

“It’s okay, John,” Sherlock said trying to comfort his best friend. “It was only a dream.” John nodded again, his eyebrows bunched up again. “John? Can I..um..I can hug you?” John looked at him with a confused face. “It might help.”

****

“Sure,” John answered quietly. Sherlock moved closer to John and wrapped his arms around John’s wide set shoulders. John was shaking ever so slightly and he wrapped his arms around Sherlock as well. Sherlock closed his eyes and breathed in John’s smell. It smelt like freshly cleaned clothes and shampoo. Sherlock hugged John tighter, wishing they could stay like this forever.

****

_I love you_ , Sherlock wished he could say.

 

“What did you dream about?” Sherlock asked John.

****

“I dreamt about when you faked your death..” John answered quietly. “I don’t know why I still do. It’s over you’re home and alive.” Sherlock hugged tighter. He heard John sniff and move his hand to whip his eyes.

****

“Oh, John…” Sherlock said feeling so guilty and horrible about what he had to put John through for those two years. “I’m so sorry. I’m back, John. I’m not leaving, ever again.” John gave the comment a sad laugh.

****

“I know,” John said pulling away from the hug. Sherlock and John looked at each other's faces both giving each other sad smiles. Sherlock’s smile soon became a frown as did John’s. Sherlock eyed John’s forehead then raised his lips to it and kissed it. When he looked at John his face was shocked.

****

“I-I’m sorry,” Sherlock said.

****

“No, it’s okay,” John said. “I...I love you, Sherlock”

****

Sherlock’s mouth opened to gasp, which never reached his mouth. He was speechless. He didn’t think John would ever love him. He thought that John thought of him as a flatmate and a friend but nothing more.

****

“I... I love you too,” Sherlock told John, who sighed with relief.

****

John put his hand on Sherlock’s cheek, “May I?” Sherlock nodded nervously. John then leaned in to kiss him. Sherlock did the same after a second. Their lips meeting in the middle. The kiss was only for a second or two but it felt like something had just exploded in Sherlock’s chest. It was a good feeling Sherlock smiled so brightly when John and him pulled away. John laughed and smiled also.

****

“I love you so much,” Sherlock told John letting out a small laugh of pure happiness. John grabbed Sherlock’s hands.

****

“How long have you kept this secret?” Sherlock looked up at John.

****

“Since we met. Just a few weeks after… You starting living with me. I started feeling odd… Then I had to leave and I stayed in love with you all those 2 years…” Sherlock told him. “I’m never been in love before, John… I didn’t know what to do.”

****

“Everything's okay now. Everything is perfect,” John kissed Sherlock again. It was a longer kiss. It was more passionate. Sherlock pulled away.

 

“How long have you known?” John took a second to answer.

****

“Since you jumped off that building for me. I thought ‘The great Sherlock Holmes killed himself for me. He wouldn’t do that for just anyone’ I couldn’t do anything about it...and I missed you so much. I’ve loved you ever since.” John tightened his grip on Sherlock’s hand.

****

“Anytime, John,” Sherlock laughed. John laughed also then kissed Sherlock on the cheek. “I love you so much.”

****

“I love you too, Sherlock,” John wrapped his arms around Sherlock and they settled down into the couch. Sherlock laid across John's body and closed his eyes. John played with Sherlock’s raven curls as they began to drift off to sleep.

****

The telly still played as the two flatmates fell into dreamland. Both dreaming about each other.

****

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

****

15:01

****  
** ** ****

Sherlock felt a soft kiss land on his forehead as he woke. He opened his eyes and moved his head to look up to the source of the kiss. He was met with the blue eyes of his flatmate, John. The memories of the past few hours flowed back to him.

He remembered his first kiss that he got to share with his John. The cuddling session that is still taking place.

“Hi,” John said smiling at Sherlock.

“Hi,” Sherlock said back to John. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to wake up in your arms,” Sherlock admitted. John chuckled.

“I feel the same way,” John said as Sherlock kissed him and raised his face to John to kiss him. The kiss was longer than the others. They broke away again. John began placing kisses on Sherlock’s bare neck. Something Sherlock hadn’t experienced before.

“John?” Sherlock said a bit nervously. John stopped and looked at Sherlock in the eyes.

“Sorry...,” John looked away feeling a bit guilty for going there so early. He thought that Sherlock wasn’t as educated or deleted the part of his mind that was devoted to sex.

“No, it’s okay...it felt...nice,” Sherlock honestly said. John having an action for desire in their new relationship was a odd yet pleasurable feeling for Sherlock. He felt the need to give John what he wanted for something in return.

Sherlock lifted his face to John’s neck and kissed it softly. He did this slowly at first before putting more pressure on John’s neck. John closed his eyes to heighten the sensation. He began rubbing at Sherlock’s shoulder blades.

A growl came from Sherlock’s stomach interrupted the moment and Sherlock stopped. They both felt led on but didn’t show it.

“I guess it’s time for dinner,” John said covering up his sorrow. “There’s some soup in the cupboard. I can make that for us.”

Sherlock didn’t move a muscle and hugged tighter to John, dropping his head on John’s chest he let out a groan. John played with Sherlock’s curls again.

“Come on, Sherlock. I know you’re hungry. It won’t be so bad. I’ll make some tea to go along with your soup,” John pleaded with Sherlock. Sherlock signed and moved off of John and stood up. “Get a fire going while I start the soup,” John told Sherlock as he also got off of the couch and made his way to the kitchen.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

15:41

A bowl sat in front of Sherlock for the third time that day. He felt the uncomfortable stress flood throughout his body as he eyed the spoon lying next to the bowl of hot soup.

“Come on, Sherlock,” John said sitting next to Sherlock at the table. He thought that Sherlock felt more comfortable having John next to him than in front of him. “You did this earlier you can do it again now.” John put his hand on top of Sherlock’s stomach again hoping to provide the same comfort he did earlier that day. “Just a little bit?”

“Okay...” Sherlock said nervously while picking up the spoon and filling it with the creamy soup. He didn’t mind the warmth of the broth running down his throat and he actually enjoyed it. His need for food kicked in after another bite or two.

“How is it, Sherlock?”

“It’s wonderful...I don’t mind the feeling…,” Sherlock gave John a small smile which John returned. “Thank you...I love you,” Sherlock told John.

“I love you too, Sherlock,” John said while removing his hand from Sherlock’s stomach and beginning to eat his own soup. Sherlock stomach felt empty without John’s hand covering his stomach, but he could function without it.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

16:02

Sherlock played a quiet and lively tune on his violin as John cleaned up the table in the kitchen. When he finished he sat down in his chair and started working on his laptop.

The moment was almost too perfect. Sherlock and John were finally open about their feelings. Sherlock was less anxious about food and John’s worry about the past two years were behind them. Sherlock wished the moment could last forever. He’d never been more happier in his entire life.

When Sherlock finished the song he turned and looked at John sitting in his chair. John was staring up at Sherlock. Both of them were smiling brightly. Sherlock set his violin down in it’s case before making his way over to his flatmate. He rested his knees on the floor before wrapping his arms around John’s upper body and kissing his neck once again. John put his laptop on the side table before running his fingers through Sherlock’s hair. Sherlock felt that sensation again. The need to give John pleasure to get the same in return. John felt the need for the pleasure.

“Sherlock…” John moaned quietly. Suddenly Sherlock stopped.

“John? Are you okay? Should I stop?” Sherlock looked concerned and John laughed a bit at this reaction.

“No no, please don’t stop. I love it, Sherlock,” John said before feeling Sherlock kiss his neck again. John began rubbing at Sherlock’s back and moaned his name once more. Sherlock’s kisses became more desperate.

“Sherlock?” John asked quietly. “Can we go into your room?” Sherlock stopped but nodded after a beat. John grabbed Sherlock’s hand and they made their way into Sherlock’s bedroom.

It was just light enough that they didn’t need to turn on the lights. The snow outside still poured down from the sky and kept the two lovers locked inside the flat. But that was the least of their problems now.

Sherlock laid down on the bed and John climbed over him. They kissed passionately for a few minutes. Sherlock began to stroke John's back with medium amounts of pressure just as John did to him earlier. John then looked at Sherlock in the eye.

“Sherlock?” Sherlock looked up at John desperately. “Is this your first time?”  

“...Yes...,” Sherlock mumbled feeling a bit childish. John was a bit shocked. Sherlock had to to be in his a least mid thirties and he was still a virgin? Had sex not come up in a case? A least once? “I’m sorry.”

“No, Sherlock,” John kissed Sherlock again. “I want to experience this with you.”

“I want you to be my first,” Sherlock gasped and kissed John desterpertly.

“I love you so much,” John told Sherlock.

“I love you too. I need you,” Sherlock moaned feeling that odd feeling once again. John sat up and began unbuttoning Sherlock’s shirt. Going on by one just in case Sherlock stopped him. Sherlock lifted his body up to get the rest of the shirt off before John moved to his trousers he noticed the bruises and scars on Sherlock’s upper body. Sherlock suddenly stopped John by grabbing his arm.

“I’ll go slowly,” John promised. He decided to ask Sherlock about them later.

“Okay,” Sherlock gasped feeling a bit over nervous. He’d never let anyone see his body before so this was quite nerve wracking for him.

“Just breathe, Sherlock. Remember to breathe,” John told his using a very soothing voice. He helped Sherlock out of his trousers. He threw them on the ground along with the shirt.

“Ready?” John asked before removing Sherlock’s pants.

“Yes...,” Sherlock breathed out. John then removed his pants and tried not to stare at Sherlock’s penis. It was already somewhat erect. He looked away from it trying not to make Sherlock feel anymore uncomfortable. John instead began removing his jumper and shirt. Sherlock reached up to help him.

In a matter of minutes both of them were completely naked in front of each other. John began to stroke the curves of Sherlock’s hips and legs. Sherlock closed his eyes and moaned as John did so. Sherlock felt the urge to lift his hips and present his private parts to the world...or at least to John. He didn’t understand why but he felt comfortable just letting go of the urges and going through with them. Even if that meant being sexual and desiring sexual needs. He wanted to let go of the borders he put up. He lifted his hips up slightly which got a reaction from John.

“Sherlock?” John asked. “May I?” Sherlock opened his eyes and nodded. He wanted to watch John touch his private area. John closed his hand around Sherlock’s penis. Sherlock gasped at the sensation. John chuckled quietly. He then began moving his hand up slowly then back down again. This made Sherlock swallow hard. Sherlock needed that sensation. He needed it harder than John was putting out.

“John? Can you..?” Sherlock wasn’t sure how to ask John to go harder.

“More pressure?” John asked and began going quicker.

“Yes, please,” Sherlock reached out for something to grab and was meant with John’s other hand. He grabbed it and held onto it tightly. As John’s hands got tighter around his penis the feeling became harder to control. Sherlock fisted the sheets of his bed in order to ease the pain. The pain felt different from other pain. It felt good and it made Sherlock go through with the urges he had. Sherlock thrusted up his hips with John’s stroking. This intensified the pleasure greatly.

“John..” Sherlock groaned. He fisted the sheets a bit harder than before.

“Shh...It’s okay, Sherlock. I’m right here. It’ll only get better,” John promised. He tightened his hold on Sherlock’s hand. Of course, Sherlock remembered the point of climax in sexual intercourse. He’d forgotten how all the pain he’s feeling builds up for the big explosion. Sherlock thrusted his hips up once again and began doing it often with John’s strokes.

“John...John...,” Sherlock whimpered. John kissed the top of Sherlock’s head.

“It’s okay, Sherlock. I’m right here. Nobody but you and me,” John whispered into Sherlock’s ear. Sherlock’s legs began to tremble as he began getting impatient with his body. He needed release but it wasn’t coming. He felt the urge to arch his back and he did so.

“John!” Sherlock cried out. He let go of the sheet and brought his hand up to John’s back and brought John down to his chest. John continued his strokes but let go of the hand that was holding Sherlock’s and brought it around Sherlock’s shaking frame.  

“Just let go, Sherlock,” John kissed Sherlock’s neck and Sherlock whimpered inside his throat before letting go. He buried his head in John’s shoulder and cried out as he finally climaxed. The orgasm tore through his entire body. The feeling flooded his brain with a chemical reaction and he couldn’t help wrapping his legs around John’s hips. The orgasm seem to go on forever. He cried and whimpered John’s name through the whole thing.

He soon lost the feeling and gasped when it was finally gone. He collapsed and tore his legs from John’s hips and loosened his grip on John’s back.

“John...,” Sherlock whispered with little effort. He opened his eyes very slowly as John sat up. John let out a small laugh.

“Hopefully Mrs. Hudson didn’t hear you. People might talk,” John chuckled. Sherlock laughed lightly too and closed his eyes again.

“She’s at her sister’s,” Sherlock tried not to talk because he was still trying to catch his breath. John put a hand on his face Sherlock’s face. “John...I don’t understand why you needed to get naked for this.”

“I was making you feel more comfortable,” John stroked Sherlock’s face with his thumb. “You’re so...perfect...” Sherlock smiled when John said it.

“You too,” Sherlock grasped his lover’s hand a kissed it lightly.

“We should clean up...,” John told Sherlock getting up slightly. “Do you want to take a bath?” Sherlock grabbed John’s hand again to get help up. He stood up on wobbly legs and followed John to the bathroom.      

 

16:24

Sherlock had never bathed with anyone in the same tub before. He didn’t quite enjoy it but he also didn’t hate it. He was so comfortable around John but still so new to being “together” and he felt nervous being completely nude in front of him. Sure he walked around the flat dressed only a sheet a handful of days but he still felt like he was revealing a secret to John by being so open to nudity. John knew so many of his secrets by this time already.

John climbed in the tub after checking the water temperature. Sherlock climbed in after him and laid his back to John’s chest. They shifted their bodies to get comfortable before relaxing to the warm water. John filled the bath with a bubble solution knowing that Sherlock would enjoy it.

They both didn’t really need to wash their hair. They washed it in the morning seperately. They used this time to just relax and wash their bodies of the event from earlier.

“This is...nice,” Sherlock finally said playing around with the bubbles. John smiled to himself and buried his face in Sherlock’s hair.

“I’m glad you stayed home today,” Sherlock said quietly. “I wouldn’t have been so happy if you had gone to work. This...is the best day of my life.”

“I love you,” John pressed a long kiss to Sherlock’s head.

“I love you, too,” Sherlock sighed and closed his eyes before leaning his head back on John’s shoulder.

“You’re the best thing to happen to me,” John told him. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“I feel the same way,” Sherlock signed.

17:03

Sherlock and John spent a good amount of the passing hour enjoying their bath before getting out and getting dressed. Sherlock wore one of his normal button up shirts while John got into his light brown jumper. They decided to relax in the living room again. Sherlock instantly ran up to his violin feeling inspired to write a nice song that was generated by his good mood. John put on another fire while Sherlock played a soft and slow tune.  

John sat in his chair listening to Sherlock play while he read a few pages of his novel. After awhile he glazed up at Sherlock, who was now swaying back and forth to his music. John got up and walked over to Sherlock and hugged him from behind.

“John?” Sherlock stopped.

“Don’t stop. Let’s dance, Sherlock,” Sherlock chuckled to himself and began the song from the beginning again swaying his body with John’s. They continued this for a few more minutes before John broke the pattern.

“Do you have a recording somewhere?” He asked. Sherlock put down his violin and left John standing alone to look for his Ipod and his Ipod player. When he found it he quickly set it up and started the music.

Sherlock put his arms out to John and embraced him in his arms. They swayed slowly back and forth to the song that was playing. Sherlock thought of all the times he had listened to the song by himself in his room. Wanting nothing more than to dance with John. Now his fantasy was real and he couldn’t believe it was true.

Sherlock was quite lost in thought that he didn’t realize he was losing his footing. John and him fell to the carpet both feeling quite foolish. Sherlock laid completely on the ground while laughing quietly with John.

“You’re ridiculous,” John laughed and kissed Sherlock’s hand. They made direct eye contact and stared at each other. Both trying to read the other’s emotions and thoughts.

John laid his body on Sherlock’s and kissed him passionately. Sherlock wrapped his arms around John’s fame and kissed him back. The recording slowly faded and ended making the room silent.  

“John...,” Sherlock said nervously.

“Sherlock...,” John said back. They looked at each other eyes again. “Sherlock?”

“What are we going to do?” Sherlock asked. John climbed off Sherlock and laid down next to him farther from the fireplace. Sherlock turned to face John that they were both laying on their sides looking at one another.

“What do you mean?” John asked.

“I mean when we go out and what not…” Sherlock told him. “People will talk.”

“They already talk, Sherlock,” John said before kissing Sherlock again. Sherlock pulled away and John felt confused.

“But it will be different. It matters now...People will stare at us…” Sherlock said closing his eyes. “And judge us...take pictures of us. We won’t get to be alone.”

“We can keep it a secret,” John said grabbing his boyfriend’s hand. “No one has to know. We just need to figure out how we’re going to keep our hands off each other at crime scenes.” John chuckled. Sherlock smiled to John and squeezed his hand. John squeezed back.

“We can do this. What we just did with our hands when we are at crime scenes. We can say that we love each other and still keep it a secret.”

“How clique, John.” Sherlock said rolling his eyes and smiling. “Okay...”

They smiled at each other then began kissing again. John laid his body on top of Sherlock’s again. John rolled his hips into Sherlock’s which was a feeling Sherlock didn’t mind. They kissed and grinded their hips together. Sherlock began removing John’s jumper as things began to get heated. They were suddenly shocked as the lights went out.

“John!” Sherlock gasped. John lifted up off of Sherlock and looked out the window. It was still a bit light outside but not enough that the two flatmates could see without straining their eyes.

“Sherlock I’m right here don’t be scared,” John ran his fingers through Sherlock’s curls trying to make eye contact with his lover in the darkness.

“I’m not scared...,” Sherlock said bating John’s hands away. John got up from his place with Sherlock and slowly walked to the kitchen. Sherlock wasn’t scared of course but once John left he felt lonely in the darkness. He held onto John’s jumper and sat up to lean against his chair.

John came back with a bag of small candles and a lighter.

“Setting the mood, are we?” Sherlock asked. John smiled and didn’t reply. He lit a few candles and placed them around him and his flatmate. After he had lit a decent number he looked at Sherlock’s face. It looked so perfect in the candle light. Nothing John had ever seen before. Sherlock was clutching John’s jumper to his chest. It made him look a bit childish but adorable. John took it in his hands and then put it around Sherlock’s body. It was big on Sherlock but on the short side. They both laughed.

“You look ridiculous,” John chuckled. Sherlock looked down at the jumper and sighed.

“I look like you,” Sherlock replied. John went in for kiss which Sherlock returned. John put his hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and brought it down to his hand then repeating the gesture.

Suddenly he remembered seeing the bruises on Sherlock’s chest and stomach. He pulled away from Sherlock and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Sherlock?” John asked. “How did you get those marks on your body?” Sherlock looked taken aback and avoided John’s eye contact.

“I got them awhile back. It doesn’t matter. They’re almost healed anyway,” Sherlock rambled. John took Sherlock’s face in one of his hands to force him into eye contact.

“Sherlock, did you get them when you were away?” Sherlock nodded and looked down again. “How did you get them?”

“It doesn’t matter. It won’t happen again,” Sherlock pushed John’s hand off of his face and moved a little farther from John.

“Sherlock...,” Sherlock looked up into John’s hurt eyes. He took a breath then started again.

“It was just people trying to get information out of me and using physical violence in doing so, that’s all,” Sherlock said quickly. John reached for Sherlock’s face again but Sherlock moved his face away from John’s hand once more.

“Oh, Sherlock...,” John sighed. “They tortured you?”

“No...,” Sherlock answered quickly. “No...No not really...It wasn’t torture to me...” He shook his head. “No not technically, John. I could handle it...I could h-handle it...,” Sherlock tightened his jaw and then tugged at the jumper. Subconsciously rubbing at the scars where they had cut him. John saw this gesture and reached down where he thought the scars were. Attempting to soothe Sherlock’s uncomfortableness.

“I’m fine, John!” Sherlock suddenly said. “Don’t touch me...,” He finished and looked at John straight in the eye. “I mean...just...just...,” he didn’t finish. He turned his body away from John completely, turning his body to face the fire, then brought his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. John gave him a few beats to calm down.

“I’m only trying to help, Sherlock,” John said softly. Sherlock raised his head to look at the fire. “I’m sorry...,”

“I know...I’m sorry too...,” He said finally after a minute or two. “I’d forgotten about them till now. They’re almost healed fully. I don’t even check them that often. They don’t even hurt when I touch them.” Sherlock chuckled when saying this then looked over at John. His smile turned to a frown. “Then you took me to bed and I remembered that they were there. I was so happy I forgot completely.” Sherlock’s adam's apple bobbed and his eye’s began to fill with tears as did John’s. They had been so emotional all day. It was starting to get tiring. “I was so happy...I forgot about those two years of…” Sherlock looked down again and his face began to crumble. He took a breath before continuing. “Of torture.” Sherlock looked up at John who had tears running down his face. “I did it all for you.”

“Oh, Sherlock…”

“John!” Sherlock fell into John’s arms and buried his face in his chest. They both let out sobs and comforted each other through their emotions. “I love you. I missed you so much. I did it all for you...for you...I would take all the pain in the world.” Sherlock sobbed and curled his fingers into fist around John’s shirt.  

“I love you so much,” John kissed Sherlock hard on the head and rocked their bodies back and forth. “I will never let anybody ever put a hand on you ever again.” Sherlock lifted his face to look at John and smiled.

“Promise?” He sniffed. John let out another choked sob and smiled through his tears as well.

“Promise.” John kissed Sherlock again on the head and continued to rock their bodies. “I love you. I love you. I love you...” John said holding onto Sherlock’s shaking body tightly to his own shaking frame. They stayed like this till they calmed down enough to breath properly. Even after, Sherlock showed John his scars. John laid back on the front of his chair and laid Sherlock between his legs. He rested his arms on Sherlock's and touched the scars one by one. John touched Sherlock by poking ribs and other bones that should have been covered by fat. Sherlock showed him the scars he had on his back. John touched and kissed each one carefully. They shed a few more tears before telling each other that they loved each other once again.

20:01

John sighed and hugged Sherlock’s body once again. He listened to Sherlock’s slow breathing as he stared up at the dark ceiling. Sherlock had fallen asleep around 19 o’clock in John’s arms. The fire had begun dying so they covered themselves in one of the bigger blankets in the flat. John used a pillow from his bedroom to rest his head. It was very comfy but John was unable to fall asleep. He didn’t understand the day that he had experienced and he was still worried about Sherlock.

**  
**

John wondered what brought Sherlock’s behavior on. John had never thought Sherlock to be a person who valued relationships but today was so odd. One day he’s saying that he’s married to his work and the next he’s telling John that he loves him. John only hopes that Sherlock won’t say that the whole day was just an experiment. The thought hurts John's chest and he hugs Sherlock’s fame tighter as if to make the thought disappear.

****

It helps but John still couldn’t sleep. The images of the bruises and Sherlock’s too-thin body is still fresh in his mind. He doesn’t understand why Sherlock wouldn’t tell him or how he hadn’t noticed before. Sherlock never showed pain when he got back home after two years of death and Sherlock had always been a picky eater so when he didn’t eat John didn’t think much of it.

****

John was glad he found out in time. Any later and Sherlock would have starved himself to death. It’s not just that food was inconvenient it was because Sherlock was afraid of it. He clearly had an eating disorder and some anxiety but John never noticed.

****

Tears fill John’s eyes again.

 

_No No stop it...Now is not the time to get emotional again. We must be here for our Sherlock._

****** **

John blinked back the tears, some fell down his face towards the ground before he could stop them, and took a deep breath. He was here for his boyfriend and he was not going to let it get any worse. Tomorrow he would make Sherlock and big breakfast and coach him through the stress. John would examine the cuts again and use what ever he had in his mediation box to make them heal quicker. Everything was going to be fine.

****** **

John breathed in Sherlock’s scent and closed his still wet eyes. He smiled into Sherlock’s hair.

****** **

_Everything is going to be okay._       

****** **

23:09

****** **

John woke up to Sherlock’s sudden moan. His eyes drifted open slowly and he felt around for Sherlock’s body. It wasn’t on him anymore. Panic rose in John as he sat up.

“Sherlock?” John looked around. The fire had died and the candles were all burnt out. The room was completely dark and his Sherlock was missing.

****** **

“John...,” Sherlock moaned and shifted his body. John felt the shift and reached out in the direction. He found Sherlock’s shoulder and breathed a sign.

****** **

“Sherlock, you okay?” John asked again shaking his partner. Sherlock shifted his body again and didn’t answer. “Sherlock?”

****** **

His partner moaned again. John used his free hand to look around for the bag or candles and the lighter. He lit a candle and held it up to see Sherlock clearly. He was asleep on his back. His legs were slightly bent and his face didn’t look too peaceful.

****** **

John suddenly realized why Sherlock was moaning. He laughed quietly to himself. Sherlock was having an erotic dream. Possibly about John.

 

_How cute..._

****

Sherlock shifted once again and then woke up. He gasped slightly then signed.

****

“Sherlock?”

****

“John?!” He answered as if he was surprised.

****

“You okay?” Sherlock nodded. “You sounded a bit distressed..” John chuckled and eyed Sherlock’s lower body. Sherlock looked shocked again and then looked under the blanket at the bump in his trousers.

****

“Oh…” Sherlock gasped. John laughed again louder this time.

****

“Nice dream then?” Sherlock looked up at John.

****

“Very nice,” Sherlock answered and looked away.

****

“What happened in your dream?” John smirked. Sherlock grinned and met John’s eyes again.

****

“Well, I could just show you…” Sherlock sat up and kissed John’s neck. Sherlock wrapped his arm around John’s shoulder and under his knees. He picked him up bridal style and carried John to his room.

****

The two lovers lit a few candles in Sherlock’s room then laid down on the bed together. Surprisingly, Sherlock topped in the beginning of their lovemaking. They weren’t sure what they were going for. They kissed each other hard and rolled their hips together.

****

“Sherlock...,” John moaned quietly as his boyfriend continued to press kisses to John’s neck.

****

“Clothes?” Sherlock smiled brightly at John. John nodded and began removing his jumper from Sherlock’s body. Once the layers are gone John topped and took over. Because this was Sherlock’s second time everything felt more intense and powerful. His urges hit him like a train and he felt like he’s walking up an endless hill.

****

“You okay?” John asked.

****

“Perfect,” Sherlock answered quickly.

****

“May I?” John asked in a soft voice. Sherlock nodded slowly.

****

It didn’t hurt when John entered him. It was more pleasurable than painful. John tangled his fingers through Sherlock’s curls as they kissed passionately. Everything seemed to slow down for them both as their movements went through a constant rhythm. Back and forth. Back and forth. They didn’t talk much and barely make any noise. Their movements were passionate despite their lack of sound.

****

The whole thing was very intense for Sherlock. The urges were more powerful and easier to follow through with. He wanted to be pushed over the edge but the edge never came.

****

They didn’t make unpleasant sounds and they followed a pattern of movement.

****

“Sherlock…” John moaned quietly. This sent Sherlock over the newly found edge. He grasped the bed sheets in his hand for the second time that day. He threw his head back as John pressed soft kisses to Sherlock’s neck. One last thrust sent John over the edge with Sherlock. He held onto Sherlock’s trembling frame and hid his face in Sherlock’s right shoulder. They both gasped when the feeling was over and spent the next few moments restoring their energy.

****

“Are you alright?” Sherlock asked. John lifted his head.

****

“Yes,” He kissed Sherlock. “I’m....fantastic.”

****

23:37

****

“Boring, John!” Sherlock repeated when John suggested another book he could read aloud to him. John made a face at Sherlock then decided to read it anyway.

****

They had just finished up with a quick shower before settling into Sherlock’s, also cleaned, bed. John wasn’t tired as much as Sherlock so he decided to read a bit before going to sleep. John had his back up against the bedpost with Sherlock curled up next to his side. They had only been reading for awhile before John heard soft snores being generated from Sherlock. He closed the book and placed it on the bedside table. Sense the candles only lit off a tiny bit of light he decided to let them burn out through the rest of the night. He laid down carefully next to his boyfriend and entwined his fingers with his. Their hands placed in the middle between them.

****

John looked at Sherlock’s face one more time before letting his eyes drift close.

****

“I love you, Sherlock,” John signed.

****

“I love you too, John,” Sherlock answered back before going back to sleep.

****

“Today was...perfect...”

****

They didn’t wake up again till late the next day. By that time the snow had stopped falling and they were free to the leave the flat to seek the company of other people. Nether of them wanted to leave. They spent the day in bed, their limbs tangled in one others’, repeating just three complex words to each other.

****

_I love you._    

**Author's Note:**

> I am working on a short extra to this fanfic so please come back for more!! Thank you once again :) Me lova you!!!


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